According to posted signs, Wild Waves forbids visitors from taking photographs or videos of any kind.

But the world needs to know about the water slides, roller coasters, and junk food that lurk inside those gates.

Today, Special Agents Phil and Kai obtained what are believed to be the first-ever non-sanctioned photos of Wild Waves, shown below.

Their detective work complete, the pair proceeded from Federal Way to the SeaTac airport, where they boarded a flight to Russia, where they will be seeking asylum.

They hope you like the pictures.

IMG_20130907_140349 Investigating a bottleneck at the Raging River Ride.

IMG_20130907_143802 Impressive teamwork.

IMG_20130907_153956 Spy duo or boy band?

IMG_20130907_161721 A “Do not climb on the Dragon” sign can be seen behind the dragon’s head. If you’re going to break the rules, you might as well break all of them simultaneously, right?

IMG_20130907_162825 To everyone’s disappointment, the Disko Flashback Boogie Ride did not include music.

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