Knock, knock. Who’s there? Humor impairment.

A newly published study claims that, among its other effects, the COVID pandemic has taken a severe toll on the knock-knock joke-telling ability of American schoolchildren.

The study, published in the August 2023 issue of the prestigious Journal of Humor Research, reports that, as of the spring of 2022, only 19% of elementary-age children were performing at or above grade-level norms with respect to knock-knock jokes.

“Our results are a wake-up call for educators and parents,” commented Dr. Craig Growzer, who led the study. “If this trend continues, it may deliver a knockout punch to our nation’s comedy pipeline,” he added with a wan chuckle.

Growzer was inspired to conduct this research after noticing deficits in his own children. “My 6-year-old’s narrative mechanics are atrocious,” he said. “Half the time, the words after the ‘…who?’ question don’t even relate to the words before it.”

When Growzer and colleagues looked for nationwide evidence of this problem — known in humor research as a discontinuity — they found that it was exhibited by an eye-popping 63% of 1st graders.

“Not all of these kids will grow up to be the next Chris Rock, and that’s OK,” Growzer noted. “Still, our social infrastructure depends on a shared understanding of comedic norms. If we can’t make each other laugh, what hope do we have for a friendly and peaceful coexistence?”

Growzer speculates that there were two main causes for the decline in knock-knock joke ability. “First of all, practicing these jokes on zoom just isn’t as good,” he said. “There’s nothing like a live in-person audience.”

Second, the social restrictions of the pandemic have left many kids unacquainted with the basics of knocking on actual doors, the conceptual foundation of knock-knock jokes. “A lot of these kids don’t even knock — they just barge right in,” Growzer groused. “Is it any wonder they can’t execute a proper knock-knock joke?”

“In our family,” Growzer concluded, “we don’t even refer to them as ‘knock-knock jokes’ anymore, since they’re not remotely funny. We now call them ‘encounters at the door.’”