Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Kid

August 19, 2011

I reluctantly put on the Darth Vader mask at my son’s request.

“Philip,” I intoned in my best asthmatic villain voice, “I am your father. If you join me, we can rule the galaxy.”

Phil would have none of it. “No, I’m not like you!” he insisted. “I’m not evil! I will never be evil!”

“Actually, you are kind of bad a lot of the time,” I noted with paternal concern. “Why not just make a commitment and go all the way?”

Phil remained unpersuaded. He began hurling wood chips at me. I blocked most of them with my lightsaber, but it wasn’t easy. “The Force is strong with you, my son,” I wheezed. “Your midi-chlorian levels are off the charts. But stubborn and temperamental you are. Oops, that’s Yoda syntax. Anyway, whaddaya say we head on home to the ol’ Death Star? I’ll buy you a popsicle on the way….”

“No — I’m NOT coming with you!” was the answer. Evasive bicycle maneuvers ensued, but I stuck to Phil like parafilm on a Petri dish. Then, as another ship appeared behind us, distracting me momentarily, he rammed his craft into the side of mine, killing my momentum. It was a brilliant move, and I had to admit that my son had gotten the best of me yet again.

“You can’t be a rebel forever!” I thundered as he sped off into the distance. “Someday you will obey me!” But I was less confident than I sounded.

One comment

  1. What, no pictures?!

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