On gratitude

I’ve previously mentioned that my church has monthly themes around which sermons and activities are structured. In May the theme was “joy,” which did not really resonate with me; I don’t feel like an especially joyful person, and I’m OK with that!

This month’s theme, “gratitude,” is more to my liking. I don’t naturally burst with gratitude, either, but I do appreciate the nudge to feel and express gratitude more consistently. I accept the premise that expressing thanks is healthy for both the thanker and the thankee. Which brings me to the point of today’s post.

In keeping this blog as a sort of public diary, I think a lot about what is appropriate to share and worth sharing here. One question I revisit periodically is this: If I write something directly to and for an individual friend or family member, should I refrain from sharing it with others (e.g., on this blog)? 

I think the answer is generally yes. Even aside from privacy issues, if the writing is for a particular person, it’s like a gift to that person, and calling others’ attention to it (as if seeking others’ praise) undercuts the sincerity of the gift.

But now — are you ready for some next-level navel-gazing? — I’ve decided that I can allow myself to post something publicly if the main purpose of the writing was to express thanks.

One key to this caveat is that, these days, this “public diary” functions mostly as a diary. This blog’s most faithful reader and biggest fan is me. My posts are occasionally interesting to others, but mostly they help me process my own thinking and behavior.

If I want to express gratitude more regularly (which I do), and if posting notes of gratitude here helps puts me in that mindset (which it does), why not use this practice for this purpose?

If this also makes me seem like a show-off (“Ugh, there goes Greg again with his performative thanking!”), I can live with that.

In the coming days I’ll post some more messages of gratitude.

No need to thank me, publicly or otherwise, for doing so.